beloved

sometimes, mtv has good stuff.

today, i watched a show called “true life” they film people with similar problems and how they deal with it and want to change.  the one i watched was about three women who have different lives on the internet.  the first woman, 18 years old, moved out of her house and is finishing her last year of high school homeschooling herself in her new apartment.  she has a social anxiety disorder and depression so she spends most of her time alone.  but online, she blogs and makes money by showing explicit pictures and videos of herself.  that’s how she finds friends and self worth.  the second woman plays music and sings for virtual people on “second life.”  that is where she finds friends and people to talk to.  she is too afraid of performing in real life because she’s afraid of people not liking her music and judging her.  the last woman chats online with men, takes explicit pictures of herself and basically gives men “pleasure” online.  she hates her body and thus has a different, virtual life on the internet.

even though these three women feel more comfortable online, they all are not satisfied with themselves or their situation.  watching this show made me so sad.  they continually degraded themselves and blamed themselves for their hard situations.  the first woman tried to socialize at a bowling alley, but was too stressed and left.  she was so angry and disgusted at herself for not being able to hang out.  there was a scene where the third woman was showing the camera all of the parts of herself that she loathes.

because of their insecurities and reliance on their virtual lives, the three women not only feel hurt themselves, but hurt their friends.  they have friends that care for them, but selling themselves online hurt their friends.  one thing that stood out was when the third woman confessed to her friend that she was talking to a guy online and taking explicit photos of herself for him.   hearing this, her friend became sad and upset because of her actions.  she began to cry which made the woman cry as well.  when the camera interviewed the woman, she felt terrible for hurting her friend and tried to change.

my reaction:  i first felt sad for these women.  seeing their problems, i just wanted to go and talk to them.  i wanted to be their friend.  i wanted to care for them and listen to them.  i wanted to show them that they don’t have to find worth through showing themselves on the internet.  i wanted to tell them that they don’t have to live the life they lead.  there is something better for them and so much more worthwhile.  there is someone always there for them to give them the love, care, kindness, comfort and kindness that they need.  i wanted to tell them about Jesus.  at times, i could understand these women.  it’s scary to talk to people and show yourself to others, not knowing what they will think.  putting yourself out there is scary and risky.  it’s often easier to not take the risk and continue your life as it is.  but what if there is a life completely better?  isn’t it worth risking?

i think this is helpful for me for starting the school year.   there are so many people suffering and living lives like these women.  they have fears and insecurities and continue to endure their lives.  they don’t know about the life with Jesus that is so much better filled with joy, love and hope.  i can show people this life.  i have witnessed it and experienced it.  i want to tell people of this great news!  i can have impact on people’s lives.  i also want to not be controlled by fear.  i saw that living life in fear can be so detrimental.  i can miss out on all the good things that God has for me because of my lack of action.  i want to take risks.  lastly, i want to live knowing that i am God’s beloved.  i have worth that comes from God because i am his child, his creation and the one he loves so much.  i don’t need to find worth in my academics, appearance, status or people.  Jesus has already redeemed me, and i don’t need to earn anything or become anything.  knowing this is freeing.

i’m glad i watched mtv today.

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